Everyone of your major milestones is “because of” your efforts.
Just stop there and think about that for a minute. I hope you don’t believe that because if you do, you are treading in a dangerous territory.
Virtually any milestone achieved is the result of many factors that includes but not limited to:
- part you played
- other people involved
- other circumstances – including economy etc.
As you can see, it’s like a recipe for baking a cake.
You have a tendency to over-emphasize the “part you played” portion of the mix because that’s what will make you feel good.
[Backup Plan: It is also true that you will de-emphasize the “part you played” when it comes to your failures but that’s a topic for some other time.]
People rarely tend to correct you when you go on a path of claiming “what all you did” to get to the milestone. They will let it be. You see, raining on your parade will bring them no benefit. Soon, you will start believing your own heroic story of conquering one milestone after the other – all by yourself. The problem gets worse because when you FAIL, you will activate the “backup plan” (mentioned above) as an insurance policy. You can always blame things “outside of yourself” for all your failures.
In spite of..
There is a good chunk of your milestones that you achieved “in spite of” your efforts and for that you need to be thankful to the forces that came together to help you reach that milestone. The more you become comfortable with this notion, the more humble you will be – a great attitude to have for continuing to grow.
The Real Problem
The real problem with having a positively-skewed look at your efforts on your success is simply that you will de-emphasize the role that others played in reaching that milestone. It is all about YOU once that gets in your head. When you think about it, you know in your heart that it is not the case and at best, you played a “good” part in that success and nothing more. A pat on your back is good but not at the expense of forgetting to pat on the back of everyone who played a part.
The next time you reach any milestone, reflect on all the forces that helped you reach there and sincerely thank them for making it happen. It will make a big difference.