Ways to distinguish yourself #168 – Take responsibility for what you communicate

No, I am not talking about what you say.

I want to focus on what you communicate – sometimes

a) with your words or
b) with how you say those words or
c) with your body language or
d) with what you choose not to talk about

Everything counts. Here are a few examples:

Example 1: A pause

A pause can make a big difference. In fact, it can change the meaning of what you say. Here are two versions of the same sentence with a pause at different places. Look at how the sentence has changed its meaning completely in version 2.

Version 1:
The boss said <pause> his employee was furious

Version 2:
The boss <pause> said his employee <pause> was furious

Example 2: Body language

Try saying “I really love you” to someone with a frown. Does it even make sense to do that?

Example 3: Intonation

Intonation in simple terms is what you stress on when you speak. It can, again, make a sea change in the meaning of what you say. Here is a something from a classic book on presentation skills “Lend Me Your Ears” by Max Atkinson.

Note: Bold and Italicized words are the ones that are stressed.

What you said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What is implied: But someone else might have said it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I deny that I said it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied:I may have thought or implied it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said someone else stole it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said you did something else with it.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said you stole someone else’s red hat.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said you stole my green hat.

What was said: I didn’t say you stole my red hat.
What was implied: I said you stole my red scarf.

Think about scenarios in your own lives when something more than words was very important. It will be a different world out there once you start taking responsibility for what you said overall (with and without the use of words)

Have a great week ahead!

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Note 1: Here is a Squidoo lens that links to most of the previous articles in this series:
Squidoo: Distinguish Yourself

Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)

Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)