OK I talked about building long-term relationships before. Here is one way to accelerate it. You will see that it gets easier to build long-term relationships when you are comfortable being all alone.
I read about this first in one of my favorite books “Passion, Profit and Power” by Marshall Sylver. Sylver asks the readers one simple question – “If you cannot be happy with your own company, how can you expect others to be happy with your company?”
Think about it. How comfortable are you with yourself? Do you need external validation/recognition/endorsement to feel good about yourself? If yes, then you will put a lot of pressure for people around you to be “accepted” by them. That will, in turn, put a lot of strain on your relationships. You will be conscious of what others think and you would want them to “accept” you and the sad part is – if they don’t “accept” you, you will find reasons to not “accept” them rather than fixing yourself. On the other hand, imagine a sceneario where you are comfortable with yourself – being alone. When you have company, it’s a luxury. You can enjoy those moments together and you can let others enjoy those moments as well.
For those of you who dread being alone and always wanting to be with someone, remember that It’s not that your “wanting” to be with someone that will draw them to you but it’s their “wanting” to be with you that is more important.
Practice being alone for sometime. It can be as simple as taking a walk in the evening. And yes, please shut off the cell phone and the blackberry while you are taking that walk 🙂