You should take a quick look at this…

Yes, that’s how some emails arrive in your Inbox screaming that you should take a look at what they sent you quickly. In fact, some of them have action items for you. You may not have the time to carry out those action items but that’s none of the concerns of the senders.

The problem?

The emails and requests come from strangers that have taken no time to build a relationship with you. It seems like just because they can reach you, they are entitled for a free rental in your head. It does seem like your “mindshare” is on sale. I get these requests too.

You and I are not alone on this. The result will probably be the same: You and I will both ignore such requests.

Sadly on the other end, we are part of statistics for the requester and if they will probably pursue with the same strategy with more vigor hoping for better returns. In the process, they will continue to alienate more people silently.

A real life case study:

I received one such request from someone I don’t know yesterday. You can see the actual request in the image below. The person wanted me to read her blog post and actually write a short blog post discussing that blog post on my blog.

The big problem was that it was sent by adding me to as part of  mailing to a list of I don’t know how many people. I had not subscribed to her list so there was no explicit permission given anyway.

Hey, if you want to make a request to many people as if you are entitled, you might as well “carpet bomb” such a request to as many people as you want right?

Requesting and being entitled for something:

There is a BIG difference between making a request and asking as if you are entitled to it.

When you ask, however small the request is, fulfilling that will take a piece of the recipient’s life. You should better make it count for them ( You will make it count for yourself otherwise you wouldn’t have made the request in the first place. ) Chances of your request being fulfilled are slim if you are not respectful of the time of the person you are making the request to.

Being entitled for something RARELY works. You are demonstrating that you care a lot about yourself and at the same time you care very little for the needs of the recipient. This is where you are likely to end up in the “black list” of the recipient.

A better approach:

A better approach starts with a mindset that you will be shortcut-free when it comes to building relationships. If you are not taking the time to build a relationship with someone, don’t expect them to take their time to help you. The rules are the same – you want to be efficient and effective with your time and exactly that’s what the recipients of your requests will want too.

The only time where you can use the “carpet bomb” approach will be when you are sending something that is extremely valuable to all the recipients in your message. Most people do it exactly the opposite way – they will “carpet bomb” with a message that is extremely important to THEM and fail miserably.

All the best!