Ways to distinguish yourself #163 – Watch your "Fix Them" to "Fix Me" ratio

“Every second in life is an Innovation, because it has never existed before..”

Naveen Lakkur at Start2Lead

Life is unfolding at every moment and it is new at every moment. There is change at every instant. We have to change to this new world every minute. But wait – we are generally resistant to change 🙁

I don’t agree with the fact that we are generally not comfortable with change. In fact, we are very comfortable with change. Otherwise, imagine the amount of changes that have happened to us from the time we were born to till date –

* we talked for the first time once

* we learned to crawl for the first time once

* we learned to walk for the first time once

* we learned to read for the first time once

* we learned to write for the first time once

* we learned to love for the first time once

I can go on but you get the point. Do you still think that we are never comfortable with change?

It is only certain kinds of change that we are not comfortable with and that feeling increases as we get older. Typically the change where you dont’ want to pay the price that you are required to pay.

Recently, I was having to negotiate with a few people and it was hard. I think they were unreasonable and lacked maturity. I was confiding this with my mentor about this incident looking for some insights on how to handle this. My mentor, of course, did not answer. He asked me a question instead – “Raj, do you have the maturity to handle people when they demonstrate no maturity?” That sealed it for me. It is so easy to want to “Fix Them” rather than “Fix Me.”

Think about it:

“Fixing Them” is low cost (for me)

“Fixing Me” is high cost (for me)

Wanting to “Fix Them” makes me irresponsible. The problem is with them.

Wanting to “Fix Me” will leave me with no excuses. I have to work hard to make changes.

Wanting to “Fix Them” means I can feel victimized and get a ticket to inaction.

Wanting to “Fix Me” means I have to take charge and DO something.

What do you think is easier to do – Wanting to “Fix Them.”

What is really easier to do – “Fixing yourself” because you are the only person that you have full control on.

Here is my point. Watch your “Fix Them” to “Fix Me” ratio. The number of times that thought of “Fixing Them” crosses your mind compared to the thought of “Fixing Yourself.” Do you think it is healthy and it will take you where you want to go? Or, do you want to make a change for the better?

Note 1: Here is a Squidoo lens that links to most of the previous articles in this series:
Squidoo: Distinguish Yourself

Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)

Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)