Ways to distinguish yourself – #99 Forgive and Forget!

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There have been books written about the need to forgive. So this is not new. I just want to share my perspective and emphasize on the point.

Life would be simple if everyone was nice to you, if no one took advantage of you, no one “used” you or everyone was fair to you all the time. It would almost be “Unreal” to imagine those things.

When someone does something unfair to you, for how long should you remember it?

I was talking to an old friend that apparently was not treated well in his earlier company. “Bad Boss” is what he said. Of course, he got out of the company quickly but from what he told me it was clear that he was badly hurt emotionally. Of the one hour conversation we had, he talked for forty five minutes. Of the forty-five minutes he spoke, forty minutes was about his boss. My question to him was “How important is your ex-Boss in your future life?” for which he immediately answered “He is nobody to me. If possible, I want to erase him from my memory.” and while he was speaking those words, he realized what he was doing.

People that treat us unfairly are not VERY important for us in our lives. So what is the real point in talking about people that are not important in our lives. We get a sense of pleasures re-counting all the bad things that happened to us and portray a “Poor me” attitude. It gives us something to talk about and blame someone else for our current situation. When we hold someone else accountable for our state of affairs, we can be rest assured that WE are not held accountable for where we are. It’s SOMEONE else that is the problem.

While there are many different ways to solve this problem, one simple way that has worked for me is to “Forgive and forget!” completely. When you don’t forget or always finding ways to “settle the scores” remember that your mental bandwidth is locked up and is unavailable for other creative journeys like “designing your future and executing on your plans.” Since time is almost “rationed” for each one of us, you will be the best judge to use the time appropriately – for settling scores or to designing brighter futures.

Forgiving provides a huge relief from the endless repitition of useless thoughts in your mind. What good is it if most of your waking day you spend thinking about folks that are not important to you in your life. Forgive their sins and forget them completely!