One of my friends was complaining to me about the fact
that his boss was not understanding him. He vividly described what
exactly happened in a particular incident and ultimately his point was
that “his boss was wrong” and “he was right”. We talked about it
for a while and both of us agreed that it is not in his best interest
to give this situation more interest than it is due.
A few days later, I met this person again and this time he had a
different story and while the story was interesting, the theme was the
same – “his boss was wrong” and “he was right”. There was a vivid
explanation of the complete incident and where each one of them were
standing and when they finally ended their conversation. I asked him
one question – “Do you exactly remember the time when this happened? I
want to know the exact minute and second if possible” He was puzzled
and thought about this question for a couple of minutes. Long story
short – he was able to come up with the minute part but not the second
portion. I didn’t say a word but after a few minutes he realized what
he was doing – “replaying every negative thing that was happening in
his life and beating himself to death”
While this was a problem, the bigger problem was that all his “thinking
bandwidth” was used up in replaying scenarios that were counter
productive. In other words, there was very limited “thinking bandwidth”
for him to think and create a brighter future for himself. Needless to
say after that conversation, he started using his “thinking bandwidth”
wisely.
How about you – how is your “thinking bandwidth” being used on a daily basis.