When you find yourself on the wrong end of the stick, it may feel good for you to scream and shout –
“Every dog has its day!”
In general, this means you are on a path to make amends for what happened by taking revenge. The movies that you might have seen validate this, probably. It seems like it will be good to prove those “others” wrong and make them pay for what they did to you. It might also make you feel “macho” a bit. You might also feel lighter a bit because you vented it all out.
However, reflect back on this a little bit and you will see that the whole approach is flawed to the core. It’s a trap that you can’t get out of easily. In your heart you know that it’s flawed but you can’t easily get out of that trap.
There are many reasons but here are two obvious ones and while we are at it, let us look at the flaws that come with them too.
1. Your ego:
You don’t want to appear weak. Your stand to take revenge reveal strength. The flaw? Think about it. If someone hurt you, are they important to you in your life? Probably not. But the moment you take the path of revenge, you just made them more important to you than yourself because the focus is on them and not yourself. So, instead of showing strength, you are demonstrating your weakness.
2. Your friends might silently support you with your stand:
This is a tricky one. Your friends are in a spot right there. They probably are not saying anything to the contrary because there is a “slight” chance that by stating the contrary they are supporting what happened to you in the first place. Just because someone is silent does not mean that they fully support your thinking. They may just not want incur the cost of disagreeing with you at that point in time.
An Alternative Perspective
Let’s go back to the basics. If you believe that you are only using a tiny fraction of your brain power, you will realize that your real enemy is not them. It’s you not being able to make the most of YOU. The moment the focus shifts to others, you rob yourself of an opportunity to become better and make a difference. You go after trying to prove something to someone that is not even important in your life. You are on a journey in the wrong direction so there is no question of winning ever. A milestone reached in this direction is one step away from what you could have achieved in leading a meaningful and memorable life.
Time to change
When you choose revenge, you made a choice that those that hurt you are more important to you than you are to yourself. It does not have to be that way. You made a choice and you have the power to revisit that choice. Do it. It’s worth it!