Photo Courtesy: Oberazzi on Flickr
Deciding on something or looking for proof for something that you have decided are not the same. They may appear to be the same but they are not.
When you are deciding on something, you are not biased on one or the other way. You want to take all the information available on choices that have made the final list and then make an informed decision.
When you are looking for proof, you have an emotional affinity towards a particular choice. In your heart, you want to make THAT choice and nothing else. You can call it your gut feeling, your preference, your love or it may simply be that the other choices are “not convenient” for you at this point in time. Whatever be the reason, you will now start “looking for proof” to support your preferred choice.
When you are looking for proof but are behaving as if you are deciding, you are confusing everyone involved and also cheating yourself. You start engaging in what might be called “selective hearing” – meaning you will hear what you want to hear and ignore the rest.
If your preferred option is the right option to take, there is no harm done. But if that’s not the right option, you get hit twice. First, because you didn’t give enough attention to find the right option and second, because you now have a skewed opinion about how “right” your preferred option is. You now have a newfound confidence about your choice albeit not very well grounded.
You don’t have to do anything radical to get out of this mindset. Being aware of this mindset will get you out of trouble most of the time. You will start catching yourself when you disproportionately favor a particular solution for your dilemma.
Have a great day!