Have you ever felt that you helped someone long ago and now they seem to have forgotten it completely?
Don’t worry. You are not alone. In fact, research (read: Robert Cialdini’s work on the topic) shows that – over time, value of help goes up in the mind of the giver and it goes down in the mind of the receiver.
Besides, few people will value help when given for free almost extending “you get what you pay for” to an extreme.
So, what can you do? You can handle this in many ways. Just being aware that the value of your help is going down in the mind of the receiver over a period of time will be a liberating feeling. Your own expectation of how much someone should value of your help over time is more realistic after this awareness.
Second, you can choose who you are helping. There is one class of people who you can totally avoid helping if reciprocation is what you are looking for. These are called CUE people (yes, we need to get a CLUE on CUE)
CUE = Consumers who are Ungrateful and think your help as an Entitlement
You help someone who is a CUE. The person will gladly receive your help but will be ungrateful and probably be thinking that it was your duty to help me – in other words he or she is entitled for that help.
You can go ahead and help them as long as you are not expecting any reciprocative behaviors.