If you want to be happier than where you are just try this – stop
comparing any scenario to ideal scenario. It will make a huge
difference and you will instantly become special in some way. Most
people have trouble with their jobs or relationships or colleagues or
— this is the best – with themselves because they start comparing one
or more of these things to an ideal condition.
An example – When someone says they have problem with their boss, I
always ask “Is there any one thing that your boss does right?” and the
answer, of course, is “Yes.” When I probe further, they say that there
are a lot of things that the boss does right but this one thing that he
does wrong is the troublesome one. So I ask “Why are you not happy
about all the other things that your boss does right?” and there is a
long silence on the other end. On a lighter note one of them said
“Well, if I focus on all the right things, what will I complain about?”
We can almost say that ideal scenarios exist only in our imagination.
In the above example, you really have to “manufacture” a boss that will
be doing “everything” right. If you change your job or the boss
changes, the situation might improve but only until you discover that
the new boss also has issues (may be not the same ones) when you
compare him to the “ideal” one.
It is good to compare to an ideal scenario when the objective is to
improve and perform better. However, most of us carry out this
comparison to complain or to feel miserable.